Indian weddings...

Its a cushy feeling one has at the thought of a wedding.. I was recently at a wedding (Indian Hindu wedding) and even though the main event as such whizzed by before, we even gathered our thoughts and cherished the moment, the pre-preparations that went into preparing for the event were the key to the main event itself. Indian weddings are colorful to say the least.. Hindu weddings at that, have yards of silk draped by the women and men alike, with glittering jewels and the mild fragrance of flowers & perfume, with the smell of the holy pyre and the appetizing array of food and loud music- all this that makes for a wholesome event..

In my experience its more fun attending someones else's wedding than being the one getting married .. :) The intensity and the number of functions that the bride and groom have to partake in a Hindu ceremony, far outweigh the fun that can be had at the wedding... As a spectator you actually get to enjoy the music , food and the chitchats which is a far cry for the bride and groom :)

A typical south Indian Iyer wedding is chartered for a minimum of 2 days . The pre events to those two days can last anywhere between 2-4 more days.. Those pre-events include the sumangali prarthna, samaradhanai and in some case mav villku for the family deity and Ganesh pooja (at home) before leaving for the wedding venue. Now that the fun aspect of other cultures is fast being adopted by most families, mehandi ceremony is one such sought after function by the young and old (women).

On the morning before the actual wedding day after oil bath, the bride and groom perform specific functions with their respective families. The girls family/parents perform the naming ceremony of the bride, while simultaneously the grooms family does the Viradam where they tie a yellow thread signifying the start of a function and as a rule, the groom and his parents are not to step outside the venue until the wedding is done. (the same is the case with the bride and her family). That evening is the nishchayadartham /engagement ceremony. Often times this is also doubled up as the reception.

The morning of the wedding starts with a whole array of ceremonies that are to be performed by the groom. Personally I feel the bride (until the thaali- which is when the man takes the woman to be his lawfully wedded wife) is a model walking up and down the dais , changing from one attire (given to her during the functions) into another , until the thaali ceremony.

We fast forward to the ceremony after Thaali when both the bride and groom perfom the agni homam together as a couple for the first time and also take their first steps (7 pheras) around the homa kundalam while being blessed by the elders.

After all the functions including gruhapravesham of the bride, and lunch the families settle down to Vilayaadal (games) where the bride and groom settle down for a few of the traditional games that include breaking papads on each other, finding the ring in the murky (with milk) water and rolling the coconut.

After the games married women from both the families empty out the danyam in a bucket filled with water (a sign of prosperity for the newly weds) and dance around it (gummi adikarthu which is more or less like dandhiya) to signify the start of happiness in the lives of the newly weds.

Then with Kattu saadam or pre packaged meal for the wedding party the bride is blessed and sent away with her new husband to his house to start their life as a couple.

These concepts and functions have a meaning deeper than what is understood by the not so traditional at heart and young couple . Unfortunately due to shrinking budgets, knowledge and interests, most people opt out of the ceremonial parts of the wedding function and the emphasis is on wasted opulence . I for one cherish the memories these ceremonies create and hope there are more to look forward to in the future.